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How to Help a Loved One Who is Depressed?

Updated: Apr 2

how to help a loved on who is depressed

Whether its your child, spouse, friend or a sibling suffering from depression, in order to help them you need to first identify the 3 big Ds that can cause depression.

Death (of a loved one)

Disease (of chronic/incurable type)

Divorce (especially messy ones)

Other causes like drugs, addictions, social reasons are there but the 3 big D's above are main reasons for depression.

The grief stage last for roughly 6 months even in normal people but the depressed ones get stuck in stage 2 or 3 or 4

Stage 1: Shock - (OMG phase)

OMG! this cannot be true

OMG! this cannot be my life partner that I married

Stage 2: Denial - (Maybe phase)

Maybe there is a chance he/she will come back alive after this major accident/illness/death

Maybe the test was false positive or technician mixed up the results

Maybe I’m not trying hard enough to make this marriage work with him/her

Stage 3: Anger - (Blame phase)

Blaming another person/institution for the death of a loved one in an unreasonable manner

Blaming the medical system for the disease or trying to sue the doctors

Blaming the partner or escalating the arguments to physical and verbal abuse

Stage 4: Bargaining- (Begging phase)

Incessantly praying to god and promising that you will build a synagogue or a temple if the dying or dead person is back.

Begging the doctor for alternatives, desperate for second/third opinions, searching up extensively on the internet about the illness, becoming obsessed with the treatment plan/prognosis etc.

Negotiating with lawyers to get maximum benefit from the divorce and acting extremely selfish. They feel monetarily they need to be compensated for the affairs or the lies or the abuse.

Stage 5: Acceptance

This is where peace returns. Everything looks & feels the way it is supposed to.

When you identify that your loved one is stuck in stage 2 or 3 or 4 beyond 6 months then its time for you to intervene

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